Thursday, November 27, 2008

Fairy Tales pt. 2


Almost every Disney fairytale is an adaptation of previous stories, we all know that Ariel died on the previous version, never mind that every step she took on earth felt like a thousand sharp knives under her feet, and that the prince fell for some other broad. But here are a my favorite "stories" retold:

Snow white

OK, we know of a sweet little girl living alone in a forest with seven old man. This is the same in all versions, however those little men play only a minor role on the original tale, and they don't even have names. A magic mirror and a plot to kill the little girl. Here's where things get interesting.

Initially, not only does the evil queen want poor snow white clipped, as a proof she wants the girl's still warm heart to be cooked and served in a fancy stew, mmm yummy. We know how things go with the poisoned apple… oh! Wait, we think we do, but as it turns out the apple wasn't so much a food poisoning threat as a choking hazard. It gets stuck on snow white's throat killing her (yup, she dies instead of falling asleep as Disney had us believe) she's placed inside a crystal coffin by some pervert prince who wanted to watch her dead body all day long, and while being transported to the castle, her cart hits a bump on the road, dislodging the stuck apple and bringing snowy back to life. hell yeah! (it's obvious Heimlich wasn’t all that famous back then)

Oh, I almost forgot! The evil queen was sentenced to death once she was found guilty of attempted choking-apple murder; but since no lethal injection was at hand, they had her dance her life away on red-hot iron shoes. Ouch! (human rights anyone?)

By the way, this was not the first telling of this story. Way before the brothers Grimm had it their way, there was a much darker version; where the assassin-to-be was snow white's own mother, and; instead of a prince finding the preserved body of the girl, her own father does.

Still Disney made its own version, after all, as Garrison Keillor once said: "Disney didn't want necrophiliac princes as heroes". So, the crystal coffin was minimized, the little men became dwarfs with multiple personalities, narcolepsy and allergies, among others. And the kiss of true love was born.

Sleeping Beauty

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream… Definitely not the best line for picking up girls (believe me), but voyeuristic expressions set aside, there are many-a-difference between the Disney's tale and the "very" original one. Yes, I said "very".


Published by Charles Perrault as La Belle au Bois dormant as part of Contes de ma Mère l'Oye (Tales of mother Goose) the story was pretty much the same as Disney's: the curse of the wicked fairy, the "poisoned" spindle, and the hundred year sleep, ended by the first true love kiss.

But on Perrault's version happily ever after was not on the list. The prince "married" the princess (he impregnated her, truth be told) and they had two children, who were kept secret from the prince's mom, since she was an Ogre. (after all, ogres do eat children, Shrek just happened to be a vegan). Once the prince became king, children and wife were brought home.

War broke out somewhere inside the kingdom, so the king formerly known as "Prince" left the wifey and kids with good ole nana, and; you guessed it, she tried to eat them. In a snow white fashion, she was tricked with lamb instead of child, she found out; tried to cook the grandchildren again concocting a live viper stew. But the king came just in time for supper and the mother queen killed herself in shame. Phew!

When the brothers Grimm retold the story they dropped the second part altogether and just made them live happily ever after once they kissed.

But, the very original story called: Talia, Moon and Sun, was not exactly Disney's, Grimm's, or Perrault's material. Most of the story is the same the curse and the hundred year sleep. A king did find her, but he didn't exactly kissed her, after all "hot unconscious women in the forest are fair game, right?" (got that from youtube). Sleeping beauty then gave birth to two beautiful children, Moon and Sun (while asleep), one of the children began sucking on her mother's finger, thus removing the spindle that had set mom to sleep. The king conveniently forgot to mention he was married, so he could not marry her, but still kept visiting from time to time.

Disney drew as much from the Brothers Grimm's as from Tchaikovsky's adaptation, but the singing is all his!

The lion King

After the long gone classics the studios had lost their gold mine, and reruns were not making the cut. So what better way to resuscitate the franchise, than by adapting another famous tale. Though this one was original? Don't feel bad, many people do. And in all fairness to them, there are no first drafts by either perrault or grimm. Nah, those were children's tales, this time they wanted to mess with the big boys now….

The almighty king, the spoiled son, the sudden father's death. Ring a bell? No?
How about the father appearing as a ghost to guide his son's ventures?
It was bound to be a success; it already was one of the most revered dramas ever written, played thousands of times, studied one to many times; it is the ultimate test for a performer, a story that for every writer is paramount: Hamlet! with help from another classic: Macbeth. who can miss with those two, right?

And I won't even try to summarize any. Read them, you won't regret it. (and even if you do you can brag about it) By the way, Kimba: the white lion helped fill in the gaps.


Ironically one of Disney's most altered tales was that of his death. He is rumored to have been cryonized after his death, in order to be revived once the cure for lung cancer was found.
Alas this one is also a fairytale: Walter Elias Disney died on December 15th 1966, ten days after his 65th birthday, his remains were cremated. Currently the ashes reside at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale California.


by Gabriel® All rights reserved. 2008

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Fairy Tales pt. 1

There was a time when every girl dreamed of becoming a princess and living happily ever after with either a prince or a knight in shining armor. Nowadays those childhood stories seem somewhat outdated; nevertheless the dreams, at least for some girls, remain quite the same.
With a few up-to-date twists involving either google, facebook, or youtube, the knight in shining armor remains a standard up to which every boy should aspire; but upon closer examination, maybe reality is a better bargain than a fairy tale.

It is certainly impossible to determine when the first fairy tale was ever made; it is very likely that they developed alongside the human language, either to control or amuse the listeners; there are way too many theories on the subject to be discussed here.
Among the most famous storytellers, or writers one can easily recall the Brothers Grimm, Andersen, or Perrault. Those somber and even gruesome stories could easily make a perfect script for the latest horror flick; blood abounds and mutilation is described in ways that would make Tarantino faint.
But those stories proved to much for the postwar generations (WWI that is) and they were slowly but surely hidden from the mainstream media of the day.

It was until 1937 when a visionary of the fairyland would appear, shining a new light upon those rusted and forgotten stories; for it was in that year that entertainment mogul, Walter Elias Disney against his advisors unlucky counsel, went through with a project that had become a personal goal of his: Snow White and the seven Dwarfs.
Then dubbed Disney's folly it skyrocketed to become the inauguration of Disney's studios golden age for animation. An academy award winner and a blockbuster (bringing in $8 million dollars) it was the first full length animated feature in the English language, and it paved the way for the formula that became the hallmark of the Disney's studios: re-versions of folk tales that slowly grew on children's minds all around the world. With some plot twists and new and lovable characters, every new Disney feature shared with its predecessors the promise of eternal happiness and perfect love, a bright future for even the saddest girl as long as she lost the right shoe on the right spot.

It is hard to ascertain whether one version is better than the other, but it is not so hard to reckon that fairy tales were not always so child-friendly, leaving alone the fact of the fairest of all 15 year olds, (snow white's age on The Grimms' version) sharing a room with seven unrelated short men, some of those tales were not exactly lullaby material. Fancy a taste? Well then, you are welcome to read the second part of the post… 'till then!


by Gabriel® All rights reserved. 2008